I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize