but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
