Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?

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  (202): is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection? http://tfl.nu/uyo2
  Replies (86) Good night (2983) Bad night (1100)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.

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  (402): just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot. http://tfl.nu/9z8d
  Replies (24) Good night (4552) Bad night (813)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.

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  (917): half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country. http://tfl.nu/tafy
  Replies (262) Good night (20686) Bad night (2201)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...

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  (715): she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over... http://tfl.nu/jqzz
  Replies (17) Good night (4738) Bad night (1072)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

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  (484): I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar http://tfl.nu/nsmi
  Replies (20) Good night (1498) Bad night (5979)
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  (914): View more from New York

  at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.

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  (914): at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors. http://tfl.nu/h61j
  Replies (5) Good night (3648) Bad night (1118)
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  (646): View more from New York

  They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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  (646): They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?! http://tfl.nu/7uj0
  Replies (10) Good night (6884) Bad night (1117)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.

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  (781): please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again. http://tfl.nu/xtmx
  Replies (9) Good night (4959) Bad night (935)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.

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  (610): i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly. http://tfl.nu/8yco
  Replies (12) Good night (1456) Bad night (2877)
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  (914): View more from New York

  They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.

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  (914): They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk. http://tfl.nu/dygh
  Replies (2) Good night (2344) Bad night (696)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

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  (336): I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done. http://tfl.nu/4ilz
  Replies (13) Good night (1047) Bad night (3110)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar

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  (303): I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar http://tfl.nu/zhfq
  Replies (1) Good night (1118) Bad night (382)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aren't you gay?

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME

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  (215): I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college (267): Aren't you gay? (215): IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME http://tfl.nu/3fr7
  Replies (6) Good night (3069) Bad night (506)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me

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  (334): I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me http://tfl.nu/iy9q
  Replies (6) Good night (666) Bad night (506)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina

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  (303): My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina http://tfl.nu/ldip
  Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (215)

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