Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs

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(313): Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs http://tfl.nu/nept

Replies (12) Good night (3023) Bad night (1112)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night

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(773): Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night http://tfl.nu/fbj4

Replies (18) Good night (1214) Bad night (4132)
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(650): View more from California

just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.

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(650): just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight. http://tfl.nu/nhc3

Replies (47) Good night (1242) Bad night (4575)
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(646): View more from New York

Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.

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(646): Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself. http://tfl.nu/w0yt

Replies (20) Good night (6973) Bad night (821)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?

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(901): How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games? http://tfl.nu/94zu

Replies (14) Good night (4369) Bad night (906)
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(754): View more from Florida

Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day

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(754): Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day http://tfl.nu/l2mr

Replies (6) Good night (2794) Bad night (880)
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(630): View more from Illinois

We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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(630): We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough http://tfl.nu/a8j7

Replies (4) Good night (2927) Bad night (1355)
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(240): View more from Maryland

I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

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(240): I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop. http://tfl.nu/iw16

Replies (20) Good night (3817) Bad night (1587)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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(770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8

Replies (10) Good night (1122) Bad night (2870)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit

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(720): I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit http://tfl.nu/p0py

Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (1034)
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(408): View more from California

I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.

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(408): I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/3vr5

Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (351)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call

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(613): Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call http://tfl.nu/gkj8

Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (271)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.

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(570): She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom. http://tfl.nu/qu8a

Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (179)
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(360): View more from Washington

Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.

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(360): Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age. http://tfl.nu/k6w0

Replies (5) Good night (460) Bad night (165)
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(516): View more from New York

ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok

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(516): ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok http://tfl.nu/9kls

Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (126)

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