Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes

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(508): the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes http://tfl.nu/rtqh

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(303): View more from Colorado

okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

(785): View more from Kansas

again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

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(303): okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it. (785): again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now. http://tfl.nu/6i8m

Replies (36) Good night (1648) Bad night (7082)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

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(484): The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit. http://tfl.nu/31my

Replies (18) Good night (831) Bad night (3988)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

What happened to him?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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(501): What happened to him? (1-501): He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum http://tfl.nu/owcl

Replies (4) Good night (4050) Bad night (700)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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(978): I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver. http://tfl.nu/zig6

Replies (6) Good night (1170) Bad night (2274)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?

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(931): EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011? http://tfl.nu/cw71

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(815): View more from Illinois

I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.

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(815): I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk. http://tfl.nu/8nn3

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(916): View more from California

let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.

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(916): let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again. http://tfl.nu/i76s

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(770): View more from Georgia

We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.

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(770): We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere. http://tfl.nu/s422

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(716): View more from New York

i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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(716): i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me http://tfl.nu/peek

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?

(+48): View more from Poland

Poland

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(+44): You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you? (+48): Poland http://tfl.nu/96rz

Replies (10) Good night (4304) Bad night (749)
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(212): View more from New York

At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for

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(212): At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for http://tfl.nu/la6h

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...

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(603): Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume... http://tfl.nu/4fod

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(423): View more from Tennessee

So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.

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(423): So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class. http://tfl.nu/xrt7

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(818): View more from California

It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.

(440): View more from Ohio

It's important to play to your strengths.

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(818): It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014. (440): It's important to play to your strengths. http://tfl.nu/uc6m

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