Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  Wtf?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Use the slutty part of ur brain.

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  (225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!! (1-225): Wtf? (225): Use the slutty part of ur brain. http://tfl.nu/qcnm
  Replies (32) Good night (2924) Bad night (462)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  no, he came in my armpit

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  (808): no, he came in my armpit http://tfl.nu/0ngk
  Replies (29) Good night (1279) Bad night (9999) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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  (512): OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs! http://tfl.nu/zfxs
  Replies (7) Good night (596) Bad night (5045) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

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  (205): I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien http://tfl.nu/9idk
  Replies (31) Good night (918) Bad night (3632)
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  (415): View more from California

  The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.

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  (415): The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight. http://tfl.nu/rmxq
  Replies (20) Good night (3980) Bad night (614)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (32) Good night (17009) Bad night (1222) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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  (513): both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage http://tfl.nu/uqc7
  Replies (22) Good night (1637) Bad night (7119)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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  (661): It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job. http://tfl.nu/htiz
  Replies (32) Good night (5144) Bad night (1214) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

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  (818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv
  Replies (15) Good night (2386) Bad night (4153) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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  (937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1070) Bad night (2863) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?

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  (+61): I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above? http://tfl.nu/c1r4
  Replies (7) Good night (1881) Bad night (629)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't answer my phone I'm at work

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities

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  (339): I can't answer my phone I'm at work (781): I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities http://tfl.nu/qhjl
  Replies (5) Good night (1557) Bad night (371)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.

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  (208): Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me. http://tfl.nu/44ip
  Replies (8) Good night (1301) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?

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  (760): I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/rhvf
  Replies (23) Good night (1889) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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  (402): i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding. http://tfl.nu/exiv
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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