I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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