I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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