didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
