what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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