WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
