Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize