Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
