direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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