Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
