she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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