I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
