If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
