She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
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I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.