I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall