I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption