Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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