after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.