Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
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We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
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How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless