Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"