I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
