Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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