Swine flu. Run for my life!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
