It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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