the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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