Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
