I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
