I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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