1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Randomize
