On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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