So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
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Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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