He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
