I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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