dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
