so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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