Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
