we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
