we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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