: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Who died my cat blue again?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
