he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
