HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You can't just leave with hair like that
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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