I got chris browned last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
