Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch. http://tfl.nu/99z3
  Replies (20) Good night (645) Bad night (1922)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant http://tfl.nu/x9ap
  Replies (5) Good night (1068) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon! http://tfl.nu/qgqr
  Replies (20) Good night (4874) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying. http://tfl.nu/1qjh
  Replies (34) Good night (3656) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok http://tfl.nu/x8pl
  Replies (17) Good night (4439) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1
  Replies (16) Good night (7108) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  His hands were made for my vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): His hands were made for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/uiyy
  Replies (16) Good night (7403) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1377) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out. http://tfl.nu/7070
  Replies (5) Good night (1175) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.

  (619): View more from California

  I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.

  (760): View more from California

  I referred to the cat as amicable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat. (619): I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race. (760): I referred to the cat as amicable. http://tfl.nu/ls44
  Replies (4) Good night (1508) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road. http://tfl.nu/405b
  Replies (5) Good night (1438) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children. http://tfl.nu/cjdr
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there. http://tfl.nu/rixv
  Replies (3) Good night (289) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems http://tfl.nu/p6dg
  Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink. http://tfl.nu/k5ex
  Replies (4) Good night (473) Bad night (324)

Randomize