Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face? http://tfl.nu/ju4e
  Replies (7) Good night (892) Bad night (2952)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge http://tfl.nu/uife
  Replies (12) Good night (1121) Bad night (4131)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good. http://tfl.nu/sjs5
  Replies (62) Good night (6227) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome. http://tfl.nu/42y4
  Replies (12) Good night (4946) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/j0gt
  Replies (20) Good night (4634) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share. http://tfl.nu/463q
  Replies (2) Good night (2195) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me. http://tfl.nu/t7ew
  Replies (2) Good night (1901) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking http://tfl.nu/y5lt
  Replies (10) Good night (2788) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig
  Replies (14) Good night (1361) Bad night (2066)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go? http://tfl.nu/xzhw
  Replies (3) Good night (1129) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday. http://tfl.nu/9i7k
  Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding http://tfl.nu/2362
  Replies (7) Good night (643) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4
  Replies (9) Good night (1472) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. " http://tfl.nu/24zo
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs. http://tfl.nu/ntwi
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (434)

Randomize