I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.