Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece