Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.

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  (706): the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not. http://tfl.nu/av9b
  Replies (10) Good night (5513) Bad night (689)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in

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  (917): she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in http://tfl.nu/g0n5
  Replies (12) Good night (3341) Bad night (1194)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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  (314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4
  Replies (3) Good night (1035) Bad night (3061)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat

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  (978): Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat http://tfl.nu/7lwm
  Replies (18) Good night (4378) Bad night (820)
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  (530): View more from California

  he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.

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  (530): he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/2vwb
  Replies (11) Good night (2425) Bad night (923)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Internet Is back!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

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  (860): CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS. (508): Internet Is back! (860): MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS. http://tfl.nu/a6kg
  Replies (7) Good night (899) Bad night (1199)
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  (646): View more from New York

  last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good

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  (646): last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good http://tfl.nu/h7gj
  Replies (16) Good night (1932) Bad night (933)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.

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  (919): What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic. http://tfl.nu/uq7x
  Replies (19) Good night (3072) Bad night (628)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.

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  (803): My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please. http://tfl.nu/htsn
  Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (570)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you

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  (219): You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you http://tfl.nu/zonx
  Replies (8) Good night (1229) Bad night (490)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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  (785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (560)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.

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  (908): Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up. http://tfl.nu/c97y
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (388)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

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  (317): Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success http://tfl.nu/u4l1
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (257)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.

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  (612): Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument. http://tfl.nu/0nxh
  Replies (5) Good night (799) Bad night (254)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?

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  (630): so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!? http://tfl.nu/j27z
  Replies (2) Good night (288) Bad night (510)

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