Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldnâ€™t Be More Proud
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"