sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
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Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am