im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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