i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
