i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize