I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
