And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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