the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
