I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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