The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
