why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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