I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
