So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
