I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
