i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
