Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
