just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
