so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have post one night stand depression
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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