how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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