Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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