My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Blood and glitter go together right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
