Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
