And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
