My friends, they love my intelligence
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
