office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
