he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
